A Birthday Resolution

It’s been a week since A Birthday Juxtaposition. In past years I would still be celebrating my birthday. But I’m older. I only celebrated for four days.

Anyway, the juxtaposition put Lady Gaga, ROI, and Generation Flux against one another in an epic (not really) mind map. Mind mapping is a good way to make sense of disconnected thoughts fighting for attention while you’re trying to focus.

I started with Gaga. March 28^th was her birthday so I used mine, the 29^th, to salute her. I explained her use of fame as a medium like painting or music. I confessed I love her.

Then I wrote on ROI. I am still working on the project to show exactly what impact our team is having on reducing financial leakage. I wrote a formula into which we could plug various measurements to deduce the definitive sum that would be ROI. It looks something like this:

L= T[I_s + L]

No, I won’t explain it. And yes, I do apologize to all the legitimate math people who will be offended by my abuse of their symbols.

Another GenXer in Flux

I want to break my default settings. I want out of the day-to-day life of boredom, routine, and petty frustration (with a nod to David Foster Wallace, linked above).

I know most people don’t think their desires are unreasonable. Except, when I say mine aloud, the people around me scoff. Audibly.

Some of my favorite nay-sayings:

·         Just be glad you have a job.

·         You may have to take what you can get.

·         Well everyone wants that, but be realistic.

·         If the opportunity presents itself, sure, but it’s unlikely.

·         How will you make money that way?

·         I just don’t see how it would work.

The last one is Cuk, my ROI-model-requiring husband. Show me the plan, give me the proof, explain exactly how it will work and also, what the back-up plan is.

Stick to what you know

Most of these voices come from a traditional economy. The traditional economy looks like this: eight-to-five work day, five days a week, office, cubicle, meetings, Outlook calendars, phone extensions, regular paychecks with direct deposit and 401k contributions.

Stability, right? Not so in 2008. Not so in 2009.

I am grateful for having “survived.” I'm grateful for my employer having “survived,” under incredibly competent leadership, with only a small share of the overall casualties. I know my family was extremely lucky and continues to benefit from the benevolence of stable, profitable companies.

But it’s not 2009 anymore. And I'm moving to Clemson Road.

Come, Gypsy, tell us how much we'll make

ROI models are a lot like fortune telling. Intuition, experience, and observation are the tools used to predict the future. And yet, like any forecast, an ROI (return on investment) model is subject to change.

Getting my husband to agree to anything is like getting legislation through Congress. So I presented an ROI model to Cuk when I wanted to convince him to support my PhD program.

I estimated how much the degree would cost in student loans ($4000/qtr), then I multiplied that over a conservative estimate of how long it would take (5 years). I then researched how much I could expect to earn after completing the PhD (80% more than 2006’s salary) and multiplied that over how long I would be working afterwards (30 years).

The purpose of an ROI model is to convince people that an idea’s payoff is worth the costs associated. Cuk agreed the investment was sound. I enrolled in Capella University’s curriculum for achievement of a PhD in Organizational Management in the fall of 2006.

Take a Chance

What I have learned about an ROI model since that initial attempt is that a complete model must include peripheral costs associated with potential interruptions. These are risks in the ROI model. These risks adjust figures and change the model, rendering it at best inaccurate and at worst a terrible misrepresentation of reality.

For example, the earnings piece of my PhD ROI model is affected by several factors that, in 2006, were unforeseen: 1) the economy tanked in 2008 and employers adjusted their pay grades downward because the market was flooded with talent and 2) unemployed workers flooded universities pursuing degrees, creating a highly-educated talent pool.

See the Unforeseen

Other interruptions include cultural and personal change. For example, from 2008 until 2011, in resounding chorus, workers sang, “just be glad you have a job!”

A Birthday Juxtaposition

On the day before my 35^th birthday, my primary task was to develop an ROI model. How do we determine the total cost of doing what we’re doing?

While thinking about this I read this article which suggests embracing chaos. It describes the current business world as being in flux.

Then I thought of Lady Gaga. The day before my 35^th birthday, was Mother Monster’s 26^th birthday.

What do ROI, Generation Flux, and Lady Gaga have in common? Hard to say.

Visualize It

There is a very talented writing coach I have been following for years who suggests mind mapping. For everything. Mind mapping generates ideas by locating connections and overlaps. So I mind map.

The links I find are between

Lady Gaga “learn, ask, see,” and ROI “proof, data, confidence.”

Then Lady Gaga “brave” and Generation Flux “courage.”

Then ROI “value, participation, contribution,” and Generation Flux “willing, available, opportunity.”

For a tutorial on mind mapping, proprietary of course and meant for reference purposes only, leave a comment and I'll send it.

Find Commonality

This mind map, with its three very foreign subjects, might put “Kasie” right in the middle. At 35, I find I am at times fierce and proud, willing to take risks, but preoccupied with evidence and security.

For example, I think lotteries are voluntary taxes. But Tuesday when Adam Levine re-tweeted a Milton Berle quote, “If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door,” I bought a Mega Millions ticket. I very rarely play, as evidenced when I needed help picking my numbers.

I did not offer to split my winnings with the clerk who helped me, just so everyone knows. Get in line, dude.

I am at once change junky and curmudgeon, social network surfer and paperback buyer.

What sort of profound life lesson has the juxtaposition of Lady Gaga, ROI models, and Generation Flux provided? Perhaps only this: I know Pandora has a station to match that.

And, we’ll need three more posts to tease out each subject and a fourth one to complete the analysis.

Later today I’ll post the Lady Gaga one. After all, it’s my birthday and I get to do whatever I want. Now off to work!

Need Change? Prove It

I needed proof. I needed proof that the couch we've had for ten years should not make the move to Clemson Road. Despite its general filth and stench, the couch had secured its place on the moving van simply because, to quote Cuk, "we already have a couch."

Cuk is a conservative guy. Getting change in our house is like getting a bill through congress.

First I have to research the plan, present a return-on-investment model, provide financing options, longevity estimates, and sometimes bring in witnesses to testify in favor of the change.

When I wanted to paint the kitchen, I had all of the necessary documentation to support the change. Even committed to doing it all by myself. But it wasn't until Cuk accidentally spilled a glass of red wine against the white wall, producing a purple stain, that I had proof.

Ultimately, I only ever need immediate proof to get change.

Yesterday morning, HB took it upon herself to provide proof. Armed with the green marker used to decorate the Melissa & Doug cupcakes she got for Valentine's Day (see right), she altered the couch in an irrevocable way.

As I laid lazily in bed reading Catching Fire, she was hard at work providing that moment which changes the trajectory of an object in motion.