Don't Say You Didn't Try

I swam in high school. When I decided to go to Clemson University I asked my swim coach if he thought I was good enough to swim there. He said no.

In 1995 I was swimming eight times a week but for all that work, I'd only dropped three seconds off my 100 butterfly. I'd seen myself get stronger and faster but I'd need to drop four more seconds to make the team at Clemson, my coach said. Four seconds seemed impossible.

So I finished the high school season and the summer season and when I went to Clemson in August I joined the crew team.

Say it was a chance to do something new.

A couple of people to whom I've told that story said they would have responded differently. 

My friend Rob, a 1997 Naval Academy graduate, said, "See, that's when I would have worked my ass off to prove him wrong."

Just the other day a woman I'd only just met, a nurse and mom of three, a part-time tri-athlete who said things like, "I just want to do something," when describing her workouts, agreed with Rob. She said she'd work extra hard to prove my old swim coach wrong. Then she said her daughter was the same way and it was very frustrating for her.

And I thought, "How does Hollie react when she's told she can't do something?"

Don't Bother Toweling Off

“Work the kid into your life, don’t change your life to be the kid’s,” said my friend Tom between laps at Westside Aquatic Center. It was 2008, I was very pregnant, and struggling to keep any kind of pace beyond simple flotation.

Not knowing any better, I took Tom seriously.

I’m what is referred to, politely, as a non-traditional mom. I take HB to a big girl lunch every Saturday; on St. Patty’s Day we actually bar hopped. She has her own season ticket for Clemson football. She sings Lady Gaga. She’s three and four on her birthday so she has three tutus, four pairs of sparkly shoes, and two princess dresses, all of which I allow her to wear to school whenever she wants.

Put First Things First

At 5 a.m. I sat on the edge of the tub trying to talk myself out of spin class. I love spin class. Where did this voice of dissension come from? It’s the one that convinced me to quit swimming a month before the move. It’s the one that’s talked me out of spin and into late-night third and fourth glasses of wine.

This morning as I sparred with it, I heard some truth in its final plea, “I am collapsing in upon myself,” it said to me.

Enter the Analyst

Stephen Covey’s  classic The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People suggests one habit, putting first things first, helps effective people prioritize everything. It helps them determine where to spend their time and evaluate if their time allotment is in line with their values. I do this exercise whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed or off balance.