I benched HB this morning. When she doesn’t do what she’s told to do, she gets benched. It’s our version of time-out. We’re a sports family so “time-out” was too benign. Quarterbacks call time out when the defense shows blitz. It’s a chance to regroup, but it’s a voluntary break, not a punishment.
What we’ve done by employing the bench and time out is that HB can choose time out, she can decide she wants to regroup. And she does, occasionally, when things aren't going her way. She removes herself to her room think and then returns to the field.
The bench is punishment.
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| Shanahan and Beck, Redskins 2011, wahingtonpost.com |
So, back to this morning.
Me: Get dressed.
HB: (lays on floor in child’s pose)
Me: Get dressed.
HB: (still on the floor, begins to whine)
Me: Get dressed. I don’t want to tell you again.
HB: (still on the floor, moans)
Me: If you’re going to sit and moan you can do that on the bench.
I’ll spare you the rest of the details and save you a call to DSS. Suffice it to say we ended up with her on the bench, whine progressing to a wail.
I said, “You may get off the bench at any time. You just have to go to your room to get dressed.”
Understand what's at stake
When HB doesn’t do what I ask her to do, I tell her she can do it nicely, or I will force her to do it. I tell her if I have to force her I will not be gentle. This morning I followed through on my threat to force her and not be gentle. I pulled the shirt over her upstretched arms and wrestled her into the skirt. To her credit, she did not kick or fight as she’s done in the past.
