The problem with being a new parent is that you really don't know who to trust. There is so much parenting advice, so many experts, and so many people willing to offer their opinion. All of those people, mostly parents themselves, know what worked for them. And their kids. And that's a problem, because they're not you. And this isn't their kid.
As a new mommy I always assumed if anything distrssed HB it was probably my fault. I still believe that and she's three and four on her birthday.
My sister had twins, one of whom spent some time in the NIC-U. His parents fear that anytime he's in distress it's because there's something terribly wrong with him. (Fear can significantly govern one's parenting. More on that in a future post.) I don't know if either approach is right, but what I do know is that both approaches have one course of action available: experiment.
It's an adventure, parenting. It begins when you're a kid and you start this list of Things I'll Never Do as a Parent. Then you watch strangers with their kids in stores and restaurants and you add to the list. Then you watch your friends have babies and you politely nod and compliment while adding to the list. Then you become a parent and you try to adhere to the list. Try. Then you throw the list away.
I think it's a credit to my friends and family that they didn't expect me to eat crow. The only person who reminds me of my list to this day is Cuk. Who might have been better prepared had he assembled a list of his own.
The answer to "who can I trust" is "yourself." The faster a new parent becomes comfortable with that, the more gratifying the adventure becomes.